sweet dreams.

patience and dedication.

both hinge on the "f" word.. faith, that is. positivity, seeing the unseen, waiting.. did i mention, waiting?
passion is something ive never lacked in. motivation becomes sparse at times, but when im there, im "there"..
believing in myself is the the easy part, having faith in others to fulfill what id refer to as "duties" (for lack of a better word)
is where i tend to fall short. ive taken the long, hard path or relying solely on self to achieve what ive accomplished thus far, but a part of me longs for people to share it with.. people that im motivated by, people that have a certain level of determination even if it has absolutely nothing to do with me or my endeavors. but truth is, people are people.. unreliable a great percentage of the time.. envious.. selfish.. easily distracted..prone to accommodate your feelings rather than give you the one inch of constructive criticism that may equal a mile worth of progress. it is within these people that i find motivation to do more, see more, be more.. but id rather receive this impetus from building upon a foundation that co-exists from people that dream.. and are willing to work hard enough to see those dreams achieved.

faith to me is an imaginary thing. faith is God.. and thats not to say in any way that God is imaginary.. but faith is a comforting thought when you're sitting in front of a computer screen and keyboard listening to melodies hours on end with equipment that hasnt garnered even a fraction of the cost you spent to acquire it.. its a drug when you dont even have enough money to afford something that would momentarily ease the stress.. its what makes you smile while you're walking down a highway, gas can in hand because you knew before you even turned the ignition that you wouldnt make it halfway to your destination..



ha, i just close my eyes and try to think how heaven feels...