11.2.10
reaching.
id like the preface this entry with an apology to every woman that has been in a relationship with anyone even remotely tied to the entertainment industry.
it takes a special breed of individual to handle someone with the amount of passion, dedication, selflessness, and selfishness that someone like me possesses.
that person doesnt exist.
i dont expect anyone to live up to my standards... and suprisingly, im totally fine with that. i stopped looking for support systems in the form of human beings quite some time ago. now prayer, nicotine, and 80proof substances have taken the place of the tangible.
im addicted to winning, addicted to making my dreams a reality.. and that addiction has gotten to a point where im willing to let people and places go in my pursuit of it.
its a long road of despair for those that ride in the passenger seat.. but as the driver, i know where ive been and i know where im going. and i trust my struggle enough to know that its not all in vain. sometimes you just need a backseat driver.. no questions asked, no "are we there yet's?".. just someone thats comforting when you need it.. a silent investor or sorts that you know is always there..
im tipsy. im in the studio. im living..
im doing this for you, doing this for us..
..all i ask is trust.
5.2.10
beach chair.
See I got demons in my past
So I got daughters on the way
If the prophecy's correct
Then the child should have to pay
For the sins of a father
So I barter my tomorrows
Against my yesterdays
In hopes that she'll be OK
3.2.10
gibson les paul.
one fan at a time.
2.2.10
birds of a feather.
you ever notice how wealthy people generally hang around.. wealthy people? or how those who are content with norm are usually surrounded by squares in their circle?
cliche as it may be, what you put out is what you inevitably what you attract. your love life, business life, and mental exchanges are all a reflection of you. change starts within..
i once said i never had a problem with burning bridges, and i still stand by those sentiments. leaving the door open on past flames and failed partnerships only provide the comfort of knowing that you could go back if your current situation doesn't pan out the way you would have wanted it to. comfort zones are just that.. comfy.. no one wants to get out of bed most mornings, but you realize once you actually get the day started, everything else falls into place.
i had to get rid of the negativity to allow more space for those interested in growth. two years of inactivity suddenly turned into a month of growth that exceeds everything i have seen in the past 24 months.
the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results..
let go of something or someone that you've been holding on to. no one said it would be easy, in fact, it may just be the most difficult task you've ever accomplished. but it only makes the pat on the back that you'll receive from yourself and others all the more rewarding.